Wayne - emails from Sam Krupsky

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From: Sam Krupsky  

Date: Thu, Apr 21, 2016 at 5:28 PM

Subject: RE: Wayne Stout passing

To: Colleen Stout  

Dear Mrs. Stout,

I am so very happy to know that comments on the obituary and my email to Paul brought some joy into your life. It must have been very difficult for you to have lost your son; no Mother anywhere should ever have to bury a child.

The years at Berkeley were difficult ones for me. I came from a working class neighborhood in Philadelphia and was raised in a large, tight Catholic family and found California very strange. Between training 3 hours every day and fighting to maintain a C average to keep my scholarship, I found the experience very isolating and lonely. The ‘hippie’ seen at Berkeley, along with some 25,000 students was so foreign that I often felt like I was on another planet. The only friends I had were the guys from the basketball team and many of them lived a lifestyle I just could not connect with, as I never did drugs and never did see the sense in binge drinking.

From what I could gather at the time, the experience was pretty much the same for Wayne.

 We were always paired as roommates on the road and I am pretty sure we were the only ones who took our school books with us when we travelled. We became fast friends and I came to admire him very much. Unfortunately, the days were so hectic and full of hard school work, that we did not come together socially outside of basketball and I lost track of him after the last season ended. I always deeply regretted that, as I was able to make contact with many of the guys later in life. I knew Wayne was originally from Orem, Utah, but that was as much as I knew about him personally. I never thought to look for him in Colorado.

 I was actually trying to locate Wayne to re-establish contact when I found his obituary and I cannot explain the sadness that overcame me. I was hoping to catch up with him for dinner on a trip I made back home in 2015.

I did especially want you to know that Wayne always conducted himself as a decent young man. He was very professional in the way he approached all of the team’s activities and he always spoke to everyone in a warm and polite manner. I came to treasure the conversations we had over dinners on the road. They seemed to rise above the ordinary mundane banter of young men and I learned a great deal. I was an especially bad free throw shooter and Wayne spent a good deal of time teaching me how to improve. As I said in my email to Paul, Wayne could hit a jump shot from the parking lot, if he wanted to.

I can clearly remember introducing Wayne to my parents (December, 1972 I think), especially to tell them that Wayne helped to maintain my sanity in the Berkeley of the 1970’s. I was so naïve that I often look back at my conduct with a belly laugh. (On my first day on campus, carrying a backpack, a suit case and a duffel bag, I accidentally walked through the middle of an anti-war demonstration on Telegraph Avenue and actually asked one of the riot police how I could get to Spens-Black Dormitory. The police officer lifted up the face shield of his helmet and stared at me like I had two heads. Though, to his credit, he did give me the directions I needed.)

My parents were very impressed with Wayne and were so glad I had connected with someone with what they called ‘moral fibre’. My father hated the idea that I was going to California; he always referred to it as ‘fruit and nut’ land because he felt Californians were all either ‘fruits’ or ‘nuts’. (Longshoremen tend to be very blunt and forthright and my Father was no shrinking violet!)

Your son was a good friend and always carried himself in an proud and admirable manner. He was a great athlete and a very good student and he extended his friendship to me simply because he could see I was struggling. This is how I will always remember him.

I was so very happy to have received the email from you son Paul. He seems like such a nice guy and looks to be very successful. You must be a very proud Mother.

Australians have a wonderful tradition; whenever someone dies they plant a tree. I own a house with a large garden and, on April 26, I will plant a tree in Wayne’s memory.

My days at Berkeley marked my transition to manhood and the friendship with your son played an important part in clearing my head and setting my moral compass. I will always be grateful to him for that.

I am writing to the other guys on the team to see if any of them have any pictures from the day. If I have them, I will send them along

Thank you again for your email. It was an honor to hear from you.

Go with God.

Sam Krupsky

From: Colleen Stout  

Sent: Friday, 22 April 2016 1:06 AM

To: Sam Krupsky

Subject: Re: Wayne Stout passing

Dear Sam. Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful email! I am the "mother" you mentioned, and I want you to know what a boost and blessing it was to read your memories of my late son Wayne. You must have been inspired to write them when you did. As you know, Wayne passed away almost a year ago after a terrible health struggle. He is in a better place, with his dad who died  a few years ago too.

It is interesting that yours is the only name that was familiar to me from the team. He must have mentioned you a lot as a good friend. You had a lot in common.

My husband and I attended a couple of games there in Berkeley, but it was long ago so I don't remember the particulars. I just know we were proud of the team and coach. He came to our house to recruit Wayne and was a pleasant person to visit with.

  We all feel bad that there is so much contention here in America, and it is not the place we remember with love. It is sad and scary!! I am glad you are doing well in Australia.We have family roots there too.

  Most gratefully, Colleen Engh Stout, Orem, Utah, USA

From: Sam Krupsky  

Date: Wed, Apr 20, 2016 at 5:15 PM

Subject: RE: Wayne Stout passing

To: Paul Stout  

 Dear Paul,

It is so good to hear from you. I have attached four photos from my days at Cal, showing Wayne and I in action. The team photos are scanned from my year books and, consequently, are very ‘grainy’. I will see what else I can dig up.

Wayne and I became good friends largely because we were the only two non-drinkers on the team. Consequently, we would take our meals together and often Julie would join us. Wayne and I made a couple of good road trips together as roommates, one was to West Virginia and another to my home town of Philadelphia where he got to meet my family. As I mentioned before, we were probably the only two guys of ‘faith’ on the team and we would often talk about his Mormonism and my Catholicism and how faith had shaped our daily lives. They were important discussions for me at the time and I reflect on them often. It is nice to know that he thought as much of me as I did of him.

Your Mother should know how well he carried himself as part of that team and that he always treated the people he met with decency and respect. He was the epitome of the scholar-athlete. On road trips, we were the only two players wearing a shirt and tie with the mandatory school jackets.

On the team Wayne’s nickname was ‘Sling’, it was an affectionate nick name given to him because he never came across a basketball shot he didn’t like. I say affectionate, because he had an unusual knack for making most of them. Some from 30 feet or more. He was an exceptionally good shooter. I can remember one close game where Wayne had gone into the far right hand corner of the court and took a jump shot and the referee blew his whistle right away. Wayne thought he was being called for an offensive foul because he landed on the player guarding him. The ball went through the net in a perfect swish and we were all shocked when the whistle blew because we needed the two points.

Wayne shouted to the Referee “He ran right under me!”, to which the Referee said “No, no, no – you are way out of bounds!” Wayne had actually stepped about two feet out of bounds from the far corner of the court and still made the jump shot.

They were great days and Wayne was a great friend. I am so sorry I never got to get in touch with him again, although I tried many times. When my last Google search listed his obituary, I was truly shocked and saddened. I am troubled to hear of his health problems later in life.

After I graduated Cal, I returned to Philadelphia and began looking for a job. The economy at the time was very bad and the only job I could find was unloading ships at the local sugar factory. A longshoreman’s life is one of danger, drudgery and back breaking work. I was playing a lot of industrial league basketball around the city and Dick Edwards, the coach at Cal, contacted me and asked if I would be interested in a two year semi pro contract in Australia.

I came here to Adelaide in 1976 and wound up playing five of those contracts. I married and stayed in Australia and became a citizen not too long ago. I got my MBA from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology and now work for the national railway as a data analyst and programmer.

I love Australia; it suits me right down to the ground. My main hobby is fishing and I go out as often as I can.

I have made it a point to stay in touch with as many of the guys from the 1974 team as possible. Mostly, they are doing very well, but Wayne is the second that I have learned that passed away. Another player named Gary Lucich was studying for his Master’s Degree in Forestry at the University of Colorado . On a field trip way up in the Rockies, he fell off of the mountain they were ascending and was killed.

Thank you so much for writing. It was a privilege to hear from you.

Sam Krupsky

Sent: Thursday, 21 April 2016 2:40 AM

To: Sam Krupsky

Subject: Wayne Stout passing

Hi Sam:

Thank you so much for responding to my email via LinkedIn.  That was such a kind thought you left at the funeral site.  I know you left it some time ago, but I just checked again, as the anniversary of his passing is this next week on the 26th. 

In his later years, we heard many stories of his years playing basketball at Orem High School and then later at Berkeley.  He spoke very kindly of you and others on the team and the bonds you shared playing for Cal.  My sister Shauna Stout McConkie lived in Berkeley during this time, and possibly met you at some point.  A couple of her sons also served Mormon missions in Australia.  I’m also copying my mother.  Both, I’m sure, will be thrilled to see your note below.

Wayne later attended BYU for a time, where he managed properties near Sundance, Utah, where he was neighbors and a friend with Robert Redford.  He then moved to Hermosa Beach California with his wife Julie (you may have met her too) and started a roofing company that was very successful for about 10 years.  During this time he played in several city-league basketball teams (I played with him some).  His 3-on-3 team won a Sports Illustrated national event around 1980.  Later he worked in the oil & gas industry and owned/drills several wells.  Then several years ago he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, Diabetes and also major heart problems.  He suffered through several years, trying to raise a family at the same time.  He had a very hard life, but a very good life as well.  He had difficulties as well as blessings. 

Attached is a picture with his Cal Letterman’s jacket.  That’s the Wayne era you knew best.  If you happen to have any pictures of him or the team during this time, we would love to have them.  We don’t have many.

Thanks again,

--Paul

[copied message from LinkedIn]

Yesterday, Sam Krupsky said the following:

Dear Paul, I was so sorry to hear of Wayne's passing. He was a good friend and we played a lot of basketball together. I admired him a lot; we often discussed the principals of Mormonism and Catholicism and had a great deal for respect for each other’s beliefs. I was actually trying to get in touch with him over Google, LinkedIn or Facebook when I saw his obituary. I was shocked. You can reach me at   if you would like to talk further. I hope you are well. Please know I had a great deal of respect for your brother. He was a good, honest man that never said a bad word about anyone.